
Also not unusual.
Now, we still have good times. This should not go unsaid. And being in this time with only Kim has been amazing. I’m so blessed to have found a friend who I love so much, and it’s nice to be out—just the two of us—because our friendship can’t offend anyone.
It’s understandably hard for Pattie to live with us. She’s from a different generation, with a different sense of humor and, in some ways, different approach to life. (We’re more thinkers, while she’s a feeler.) We’re blessed in Lopitland, though, because God’s given us the grace to understand each other and communicate about it. And, oh yeah, we all love each other a lot. :)
So Kim and I have made a bit of a joke of ourselves here in Nairobi. There’s nothing to keep us in check, and it’s pretty clear we’re pathetically attached at the hip. So we’ve taken to making fun of it and exaggerating it. (Enter our sense of humor.) We’ve threatened to buy some cheesy friendship bracelets (circa… umm… fifth grade), and speak a lot in terms of “we,” “us” and “our.” We schedule meetings and appointments as “Kmandie… that’s two people.”
Hmm. This probably isn’t funny to anyone else. That’s often the case. Anyway…
You might wonder what it is that we do in Nairobi.
Well, first off, I should say, Nairobi isn’t all relaxation. In fact, it’s quite the opposite for me. There are a lot of great things about being here, sure, but there are also crashing waves of culture shock and a lot of stress.
You see, when we step into Nairobi, there is a sudden onslaught of resources that we can only dream about in Lopitland. There is endless power. Water. Supermarkets. Cell phones. Internet. Food.
And, with all these things right at my fingertips, there is an intense drive inside me to make the most of it. There are emails to catch up on. People who want me to call. Supplies that need to be bought. Things that need to be researched online. Baths that need to be taken and somehow enjoyed.
You shop at stores that never have what you want, and you still have to struggle to understand and use African English. It takes three minutes to ask if someone has a garbage can so we can throw a scrap of paper away. (Happened three times just yesterday.) Nothing in Africa is easy—it takes a whole day to get done what you could do in an hour in the States, with more success. And you can drain your whole bank account easily.
Quite honestly, I’m just exhausted. Purely and truly and completely, exhausted. The last three months in Lopit have been the hardest so far, and I really just want to relax. But it’s hardly possible here.
Our guesthouse is full of people who want to know all about TIMO and Sudan, so you try not to sound tired or rehearsed when you tell them about it. (And I want to tell them about it!) You hear from others about the tanks lining up on the North-South border or that it’s only a matter of time until there’s war again. And you have to deal with the reality that our friends were and possibly will again be the victims of the horrible crimes against humanity that we read about in the books. The first few days we were here, Kim and I quite literally hid in our room. We’d go out during the day to get things done, but then come back and just huddle in our little hole and avoid the family-style dinners where you’re forced to make small chat with new people each night. For exhausted introverts, that’s not always so fun.
People from home want to hear from you, and you’re forced to do that at odd hours in the night for outrageous prices with delays that are just taxing on your already-stretched patience. And no one from home will ever, EVER understand what you’re going through—what life is like when your neighbors’ kids are dying or your house is a 24-hour community stage and your white skin makes you a constant actor. There is no green room, and there’s no makeup to cover up when you’re tempted into frustration or impatience or anger or discouragement, or when you’re just plain tired. People raise eyebrows when you—a missionary!—take advantage of a $7 pedicure, but can’t understand that you’ve spent the last three months walking mountain trails full of human feces and other assorted poop. Knowing that people, even your friends, are questioning your needing/taking a break can, in all honesty, make it impossible to enjoy your days away from the village, because you wonder if you should feel guilty, and you just want people to understand.
This is a huge, huge struggle for me, so please pray that we get some real rest. You’ve got to fight for it! I guess this post sounds a bit whiny, but… I’m all about telling you how it is, and this is how it is. I know very few of you will ever understand, but here’s to trying.
Powdering the kids up is probably the most fun part of everything. It’s such a curious thing for them. Monica wouldn’t have anything done to Baby Kim that wasn’t done to her.
Check out her little footsteps! We made her a “dress” out of an old Banana Republic tanktop we found at the second-hand market in Nairobi. That’s a designer dress, people. Haha.
Baby Kim kind of has bug eyes. I think I’ve said before that she looks a bit like an alien. A cute alien. Anyway, when you have her outside on your hip, then walk into the strange whitey’s house with her, her eyes get HUGE. It’s actually quite humorous to watch. She’s giving some big eyes here, but I’m telling you, they get bigger.
Monica’s cleanliness didn’t last long. Kim decided to take some liberties with the roll-on deodorant. Ellen befell a similar fate the next day; we smeared it all over her body, she smelled so badly.
It’s 3 a.m. in Africa. I’m probably the only one awake here at Mayfield Guesthouse, but I can guarantee you I’m the happiest woman here. Or in all of Africa. Or… just a live. Yeah, that sounds about right—the happiest woman alive.
I woke up to watch the Cubs/Cards game on ESPN. I haven’t seen a baseball game in more than 14 months. Chicago Cubs. St. Louis Cardinals. Wrigley Field. A night game in late August. The wildly emotional Carlos Zambrano vs. Cardinals’ stupid-head Kip Wells. Oh, America!
All day, I invited people to join me. Problem was, most of them were Australians or people like Kimmie, whose main concern in the matter was that I would still be ready to go do some last-minute supply shopping with her at 9.
So, yeah, I’m here alone. Which isn’t quite the same as watching the game at Murphy’s with Lauren or over steaks at Kirk’s or with my equally fanatic friends or even in the newsroom, for that matter. And then I messaged Daniel, who I know to be on a night bus back from Lamu with Jen. His lackluster reply: “I’m glad for you. I’m very tired.” He grew up behind the Iron Curtain in Germany and hadn’t touched a baseball until I met him, so I guess he’s forgiven. I guess.
Go Cubs, go!