Things passed down...

There are things about how my parents relationship works or our family’s household worked when we were kids that I’ve unconsciously absorbed into my idea of what marriage and a household is.

I’m starting to become conscious of these things lately, as we work out the details of life as a We.

Sometimes I find myself waiting for Eric to do something or assuming it’s his responsibility, because it’s what my father always did. When we were leaving our hotel room in Vegas, Eric asked me if I’d done the final sweep to see if we’d left anything. I cocked my head at him funny at first, because—umm?—that was his job. My dad always did that at the hotel room. (Even if I’d attempted to do a final sweep, he’d always do the final final sweep.)

Thankfully, these kind of moments haven’t led to any conflict. Just mostly me smirking to myself as I realize my expectations.

Then there’s things that my parents did that I want to incorporate into our daily routine. It occurred to me, perhaps in college, that my mom—throughout my life—often started conversations with me by saying, “Your dad and I were talking last night…” or, “Your dad told me about such-and-such last night…” or, “Last night, your dad said you told him this and that…”

I figured out that my parents, as they go to bed each night, spend some time talking with each other and touching base. Or, well, I guess I’ve never directly asked my mom if that’s the case. But it seems to be true. And as Eric and I were quickly thrown back into the spin of daily life, I asked him if we could put that into practice, too.

It’s funny, the things you take from your parents…