Neat story.

I had a little support raising thingie this weekend at the Roesler's house in Champaign and I invited Melissa (formerly Marusich) and Will (formerly Billy) to come hear about my trip. And while we were all talking afterward, Will told another lady there a pretty sweet story. And I thought I'd share it with you.

Some background. Mel and Will were Christians in high school. Will was the cool boyfriend from another school who went on "mission trips," a concept I did not even remotely understand at that point.

He started by telling Pam that I was a very special person. Very special. As it turns out, while Will was on one of those mission trips -- YWAM in Colorado -- God put me on his heart to pray for. Everyday. And so he did, even though he didn't know why.

Enter senior Homecoming. By this time, I'd run myself ragged (literally) and had hurt my legs something fierce. (Losing my legs was a big part of God taking everything I had away and showing me what I really needed -- His Son.) No one really knew, but I also wanted out of life pretty badly.

Will told Pam that, that night he knew God was going to ask him to do something in my life. And so when we were sitting on a couch at the after party, Will asks me -- out of the blue -- if he can pray for my leg. From my perspective, I was like, uhh, sure thing, Billy. But from his, it was just what he was supposed to do.

And that night has stuck with me forever and I remembered it along the way, as God was bringing me to Himself. And it's funny, because I was thinking about bringing it up with Will, not expecting him to remember at all, but then he starts telling Pam about it.

And I was kind of in awe. :)

(This might be one of those you-had-to-be-there stories.)

Info on Lopit!

I won't lie, I've been getting pretty anxious about getting information about Lopit and what I'm going to be up to come June. A team member forwarded me an email from our team leaders. I'm just dropping it in here rather raw for now -- I don't have much time -- so I hope you enjoy knowing exactly how the details come trickling in to little ol' me. :) Some things caught my eye -- I put them in bold.

Lopit, a Nileotic tribe by origin living on the Lopitmountain range of South Sudan.
Live on steep mountain sides in huddled together secure villages.
They do cultivate and also have cows. Danger comes from neighboring tribes who raid for cattle.
In Eastern Equatoria (EE) where Lopit is situated, the norm is that it is good to kill, bad not to kill.
A man who has never raided cattle or killed the enemy is considered useless and he is treated like a boy.
Most tribes here are heathen with Rain makers, witchdoctors, and Land Lords, considered the source of eitherblessing and cursing.
A history of mission work by AIM although disturbed by the war and restrictions by the muslim government in Khartoum.
We are following in the tracks left by the AIM. (My team leaders are from another organization -- Diguna, out of Germany-- that is partnering with AIM for this TIMO team.)
Not one village has left its animism to embrace the Lordship of Christ yet. Some become Christians but the home villages remain unreached.
Most Lopit do not know God. They do not even have a name for God to describe the God we know from the Bible.
No Bible. New testament only in a similar language(Othuho/Latuko) - which needs translation in services.
about 120 000 in number but difficult to say for sure.
Other languages of tribes in EE are similar.
Our missionaries after learning Lopit should be able to reachout to some of the other unreached tribes of EE, 9 innumber.
This place is the bush! It is hot in dry season like inthe Low Feld (+ 40° every day and only cooling off toaround the mid thirties at night.)
Primitive living conditions....

Wow. I'm stoked.

My favorite Marine.

So, this is James. No, no, not the one behind the ginormous glasses. That's me. The other one -- that's James. He's my favorite Marine for a bunch of reasons -- not the least of which is that he saved my life in high school :) -- and he was in the area this weekend, so I got to see him. That's a rare thing, so it was especially wonderful. :) I actually hung out with about a dozen Marines that night, which made for some weird looks as we were walking around town. But, let me tell you, I -- as the lone chick among crew-cut, shiny-shoed men -- felt ultra safe.

So, anyway, James gets some blog loving. A little break from the Africa action.

But there will be more on Africa soon...

TIMO in Bara

Got this from my AIM rep today. Thought ya'll might enjoy it.

Here is something you can pray about. Sent to us from David Hennigh, the TIMO Coordinator

...I received news a few days ago regarding a baptismal service held in the villages where our Bara TIMO team is working in Madagascar. Eight believers publicly expressed their faith in Jesus, seven of them were Bara. At the service, a leader from one of the villages who had been attending storying sessions in his village hosted by a couple from the TIMO team, decided that he was going back to meet with his village to talk about following Jesus. God is at work. There have been between seventy and eighty adults and children attending those particular sessions. Please join us in praying that many there will follow Jesus!

I wanted you to hear this, about a recent event with the Bara TIMO team. One of many stories told and untold of how TIMO is changing lives for the glory of God.

Ann Curry in Sudan.

So, Kirk told me NBC has been doing this series on Sudan and sent me this link.

It's some powerful stuff.

Enjoy.

As if I could really give up on Africa...

There was some point in the last five days at which I decided I wasn't going to go to Africa, that the support wasn't going to come in. Well, I guess it was less a decision and more a concession.

And that's all very curious, seeing as how nothing has changed about my heart for Africa. This is just old fashioned giving up, not trusting God. Which is unfortunate, since people continue to die in the Sudan each and every day without hearing the name of Jesus.

I suppose I'm just frustrated -- frustrated because I'm on God's timetable and not my own. Which is also curious, because this is a lesson I've learned before.

I really want to throw my hands up and be done. But then what? I'd just long to be in Africa even more than I am now. I know all I can do is turn to the Lord in prayer and be disciplined in my support raising. Like they say: Work like it depends on me; pray like it depends on God.

So scratch that business about not going. That won't last very long anyway. But pray for my heart, my diligence and... my support. Ugh -- 37% is a long way from done.

God is a BIG God.

Through Gates of Splendor

I finished reading 'Through Gates of Splendor' last night, Elizabeth Elliott's book about her first husband, Jim, and four other missionaries in Ecuador in the mid1900s. The five were famously speared to death by the Waoranis (Aucas), a people known for their violence, especially toward white men. The men were burdened for the Waoranis, that they might hear the Gospel, and so they followed God's leading, even to a communal grave under a makeshift tree house in the Waorani territory. How God has used their ministry -- not only among the Waoranis and surrounding tribes, but in the lives of countless people who followed their story -- is just remarkable. Reading the words Elizabeth penned in a hut just 10 feet away from the hut of two of the seven men who killed her husband -- they had since come to know the Lord themselves -- was also incredible.

This might all sound familiar, as it was a very famous thing -- which shocked the world and changed many lives -- and has recently been made into a movie, End of Spear. I haven't seen the new movie, nor the old documentary, but I have heard the documentary is awesome. I'll have to have myself a movie night sometime soon. :)

Here's some words Jim wrote in his diary not long before he died. I think they're beautiful. "I walked out to the hill just now. It is exalting, delicious, to stand embraced by the shadows of a friendly tree with the wind tugging at your coattail and the heavens hailing your heart, to gaze and glory and give oneself again to God -- what more could a man ask? Oh, the fullness, pleasure, sheer excitement of knowing God on earth! I care not if I never raise my voice again for Him, if only I may love Him, please Him. ... O Jesus, Master and Center and End of all, how long before that Glory is thine which has so long waited Thee? Now there is no thought of Thee among men; then there shall be thought for nothing else. Now other men are praised; then none shall care for any other's merits. Hasten, hasten, Glory of Heaven, take Thy crown, subdue Thy Kingdom, enthrall Thy creatures."

:)

Gilligan's Island

I figured I'd post this for ya'll to read and pray about. This is from Abby, a sweet, sweet girl I met in New York at my training. She's with the company on a TIMO team on Gilligan's Island with Vanessa, another one of the girls from New York. She and I were the ones who drove all the way over to New Jersey to pick up Yankees tickets. ;) Anyway, enjoy.

Greetings Friends!
I have been here on Gilligan’s Island for one month! It really has been a great month! I thought I’d share with you a few of my highlights of life here. Enjoy!
** Ceiling fan and oscillating fan! Yes, it’s that hot to be thankful for good fans! [I probably won't have fans -- they're in a more urban area and have electricity.]
** Madji baridi (COLD WATER!)
** Delicious foods – remarkably, there’s little that I don’t like here. Vanessa and I have made some great meals in our home: the best stew ever as well as mashed potatoes and chicken! Yum!
** JUICE! They have the best juice here, and I try to have at least one glass a day. The other day I had three within a couple hours.
** Enough about food! Just wanted you to know I’m not wasting away! [This was comforting to me. I love food. - amc]

** Hospitable people! I can’t go far without someone talking to me, taking me in, and taking care of me! Especially in the rain – I’m so sweet they think I’ll melt! [This is true. - amc]
** It is raining more now…rainy season. It comes and goes, in between heat waves, and sometimes relieves some of the heat.
** EMAILS!! It is a highlight of my week to check and read emails. Your encouraging words always lift me up.
** Lizards. There are a lot here…and they’re EVERYWHERE! They’re harmless and small of course, but relatively colorful and some even do push-ups!
** Mouse hunt in our house. Yeah, to make a long, exciting story short, we’ve had a family of mice living in our house. We’ve successfully poisoned 4, however, the mother is still at large as well as possibly more babies. The hunt will continue…
** The beach. It is nice to escape the heat when we can to cool off and enjoy the beauty of creation on our day off.
** Language helper, Mansuifat. Our Captain has put me with an incredibly kind and encouraging language helper. We meet four times a week practicing and obtaining new bits of language. She’s become a good friend, and I’m so excited about this relationship and the potential for sharing about our Captain.
** Friends along my daily route. I walk and talk the language several hours a day and I’ve found friends along the way that look for me and miss me when I don’t come. I love how friendly and curious the people are!
** Opportunities to share about Je..s. Each member of our team had opportunities to talk to someone about Him recently. Twice, Vanessa and I encountered a Mu$lm evangelist of sorts and were able to share with him what we believe as well as with the English translator present. It’s encouraging to be able to simply let people know WHO we pray to, and more so when we can say more.
** Sweet fellowship and times of worship with our team. We are able to encourage and uplift each other as well as honor the Captain that’s brought us together and gone before us.
** Settling into “home.” We are blessed with a very comfortable house that has become home for us. Vanessa and I have fun living together and get along well.
Those are most of the highlights from this first month. I don’t know if it sounds exciting to you, but it has been fun for me! The time has flown by! Thank you for your continued pleadings and support. It makes a huge difference. Any opportunities we have to share our lives in deed or word are a direct answer to many of your pleadings. Keep holding up each of our team members’ health. One of us had malaria, but is feeling better now. All of us have gone through colds and things, and want continued strength of body. Also, plead for more opportunities to share, our Captain is at work here, and we don’t want the enemy to squelch or disturb it. Praise the Captain for our safety, health, and earnest desire for Him to be known here! May His glory shine through our lives and may hearts awaken to His call.

Much love to you,
Castaway Abby

"Charlie is a good boy."

I figured I'd poke out a blog before the Illini game.

So, here's a story, in honor of the game. The other day, my mom convinced my nephew Charlie (almost 5) the old orange "MUCK FICHIGAN" shirt of mine she'd given him to wear to bed actually said "Charlie is a good boy." He really thought that was great. How horrible is that? Pretty horrible.

In other news, I got an email from Pete and Maribel, a couple from Texas, who directed me to this Web site, Project Persecution. That link will take you to some video footage. I haven't look at all of it yet, but will later. There are newsletters, too. So you might want to check that out.

I'm starting to think maybe this idea I have that I'm not going to be in the fighting isn't really a good assumption. But I really have no idea. Guess it doesn't matter, eh?

Wow, this is a lame post. I'm tired, so I'm going to have to bag a nap here before Illinois plays.

This is long.

So, wow, still haven't sat down and pounded out a decent post. I feel like I owe it to my great big audience (sarcasm) to blog something significant. So I'm going to give that a try.

Last week was really busy. It started Sunday with a presentation in Mendota, ended the next Sunday with a presentation in Peru and was filled with two other missions committee appointments (in Princeton and Ottawa), three sit-down dinners with friends and 55 stinkin' hours of work. Looking back, I'm befuddled. How is that mathematically possible? Wow. Let me tell you though, all those appointments -- SO ENCOURAGING. The folks at Mendota Bible Church didn't laugh at me and my chipmunk cheeks (I had my wisdom teeth taken out). I left First Baptist of Princeton feeling terribly refreshed and challenged. The missions board's love for Africa matched my own. Most everyone there had been, and they had a lot of insight for me. There's a senior in high school on the committee at Trinity Lutheran in Ottawa, which I think is just awesome. And I might go back there to share my heart with the whole congregation. And this last Sunday I was at Faith Assembly of God in Peru, where the outpouring of love and encouragement was... awesome.

Aaaaand, even better, Mark (the youth pastor) let me come to SuperChurch and talk to the kiddos. Aaaaand, on top of that, I got to be Mary in a skit and wear a super-cool costume.

It seemed like everywhere I went -- no matter how poorly I spoke or how much I had to battle my chipmunk cheek-ness -- there was an outpouring of support, in prayer and even some financial. I really felt like God was blessing my willingness to step out, and giving me the power and strength to do it as I did it.

As for a support update, I'm at about 44% for my outgoing costs and 26% for my monthly pledges. That's 'bout 30% overall. That's almost a third of the way there! I guess I could get anxious about it not coming in -- and I certainly feel the temptation to freak out about it -- but I'm going to go with the whole trusting God thing on this. I'm confident it will come in.

Of course, life hasn't been without its down points. It's actually kind of neat -- as I was telling Kimbra on the phone -- to see how when things are "going well," the undertow from Satan gets a lot stronger. He's worried! ;)

I think I've said before that my parents are against me going to Sudan, but that they are the kind of folks who generally let me make my own mistakes and would never "forbid" me to go. I think I might have to check that statement.

Last night at the dinner table we had The First Big Confrontation. I have a feeling it won't be the last. (Luckily, my mother never cooks dinner and I'm rarely home at that hour anyway, so I won't be in such a vulnerable position that often. ;) ) They are worried about my well-being, which is something I can completely understand. Perhaps I should validate their feelings on that more, because I'm aware Sudan is a dangerous place and I know (somewhere in there, maybe not in the part of your brain that actually KNOWS stuff) there is a possibility I won't come back. It's just very easy to (seemingly) brush off their concerns because God has my heart so set on going. My mother actually said last night, "There's no way we're going to win this argument." And all I could say was, "No, probably not. It's you against God." Which probably came out WAY wrong. But I was struggling for words -- any words -- anyway. I wasn't ready for it. Not at all. I just buried my head in my plate and picked at my peas, trying not to cry.

My father asked me why I'd put them in the position where they might not even get my body back. He asked why God would send me -- I'm not equipped, I'm small, I'm weak. I asked who should God send then? Men with guns? Football teams? God tells us He will equip people. Then the conspiracy theory accusations started. My mom wants to know more about AIM. She said they're clearly not concerned about my well-being. She thinks they're just going to take the money I'm raising and pocket it while they send me off to this dangerous place on my own. She said she can't even talk to people about it. She eventually left, presumably to cry. We don't do that around other people in my house.

My father went on. He said, "American. White. Woman. Small. Christian. All the strikes are against you." All I could say was, "African. Haven't heard of Jesus. Dying everyday. Eternity in hell." And I was so weak. So weak. He asked The Question: Why would God let these people live there, knowing that they wouldn't hear of Jesus, and still let them burn in hell? It's in the Bible, it's very clear. But a lot of things are in the Bible, he said, and you can interpret them a lot of ways. I didn't ask when the last time he read the Bible was. Maybe I should have. All I wanted to do was get out of there, to call Lisa or Kendra or Tom or someone who understands. I wanted my comfort zone. Finally -- praise God -- the phone rang. But I'm sure the elephant won't leave the living room for a long, long time.

Have you ever tried to explain sight to a blind person? It's so hard, especially when you love that person very much... and all you want is for them to SEE.

And on top of that, I've got an acquaintance from high school who's also on the war path against Sudan. I don't know how to even answer this kind of stuff from people. Nothing that is said -- from someone who doesn't hold Jesus as Lord and Savior, from someone who themselves is without the very thing I so long to bring to Sudan -- is going to keep me from going. (Sidenote: If God intervenes through godly counsel, then I'll take a long hard look at that -- I am not so prideful as to think God can't change plans.) I think I've got to stop trying with words and just try with prayer. And actions.

I long ago calculated the cost of following Christ. I guess it's just now coming into more of a focus. Going to have to go find myself some fighting verses.

This was a really, really long post. Sorry.

A promise to blog later.

Well, friends, there's so much to report ... but I haven't been able to sit down and blog yet this week.

And tonight won't be any different.

But I've got a lot to share, so expect more later. Here's a short list.

First, God's teaching me about cultivating not only my mind, but my heart. And He's uber-blessed that practice so far.
Second, I'm reading more books about missionaries (sort of linked to the first thing up there). And I'm encouraged. But kind of scared. But not terrified.
Third, in case you're wondering, there's no amount of telling me how horrible Sudan is that will keep me from following my God there. Take note. :)
Fourth, the Illini start Big Ten Tournament play in about 14 hours. Go Illini.
Fifth, this week has been really busy with work and support appointments, but God is keeping me afloat. And I really have no idea how. Pray that I'll be wise about how I spend my time this weekend (ie: probably resting and not running around everywhere like normal).
Sixth, I'm starving for referrrals. S.O.S., S.O.S.

My God is big enough. :)

You would.

I’ve got a heavy heart tonight because something one of my best friends often says just keeps repeating in my mind. Whenever support stuff comes up—you know, when she asks me what I’ve been up to, which is always support stuff, it seems—she says, “I could never do that, ask people for money, raise support. I just could never do that.”

It just hurts me. Stings. And she loves Jesus, very much. But a lot of folks put God in a box, especially when it comes to money. And I just cried tonight as I was driving to work because I know my God is big enough. Deep down, somewhere, I know that’s true. And I just wish that she would see that, too. That God is big enough to provide the money I need to go to Africa and more. It’s all his, anyway—every beast of the forest, the cattle on a thousand hills, all that moves in the field.

And I want her, and everyone, to see that they would do it. They would do it because they’d have to do it, just like I have to do it. I don’t have to raise support because my mission organization says so; I have to raise support because my God says so. I have no choice because my heart is so broken for the African people. It’s broken because God broke it. And He broke it because He wants His name to be glorified among all the nations. And I’m joyous about that. I’m far from a reluctant missionary.

If you really understand the burden of the darkness there—that people are living and DYING every day without hearing the name of Jesus Christ and, because of that, spending an eternity in Hell—certainly raising support would seem like such a small thing. Why should I—the chief of sinners—be spared by the grace of God (a gift, free and undeserved) and not overflow with joy because of that? How can I hold my tongue? How can I deny God’s power when I look at what He did on the cross? At what He’s done in my life?

And that’s a hard perspective. I don’t always keep it, to be sure. But He brings me back to it. And He brings me back to the cross. And He reminds me that His hand is over everything. And I’m going to be just fine. God will be glorified in peoples’ giving, in their sacrifice. He will be glorified in me trusting Him to provide. And He will be magnified when He brings it all in, if that is His will.

Ugh.

Things that will not be in Sudan

Last night I started reading a book Barb Alleman gave me a while back. It's called "Beyond Jungle Walls: Bringing Hope to the Forgotten Congo," and it's written by a woman who spent 42 years with her husband working in the deep jungle of the Congo. I got through about five chapters last night, and that was enough to make some decisions about things that aren't going to be in Sudan.

Here's my list.

• Cobras. Yup, no cobras. None. In fact, there will be no snakes whatsoever. Especially not slithering down my walls so I have to chop them in half with machettes (!!!) or cropping up in the only doorway between me and my new baby.
• Panthers. Zero big cats.
• Jungle rats. Especially of the variety I'm expected to eat.
• Angry monkeys. Happy monkeys, yes. Content monkeys, sure. Just not angry ones.
• Bugs. Certainly not the kind that would suddenly seep through the ceiling and walls when it begins to rain outside. Or the itty, bitty ones that would get into my flour and -- despite a bunch of sifting -- never entirely be removed.

I'd say that's enough for now. I'm sure I'll have more once I read more of this book. I picked this thing up because it was brought to my attention (thanks Pete) that I'm really focusing a ton on expanding my mind, but only at the expense of not cultivating my heart. And, since the former wasn't really going that well, I'm praying that doing the latter will benefit me both ways. I love it when people speak truths into your life and you're like... "Well, duh, why didn't I think of that?"

I heard from some more teammates today : Heinrich (28), Doris (29) and baby Salome (6 months). That's right -- a baby is coming with us! I got really excited about this 'cause I love kids. But then it came to mind that -- hello -- I'll be living in an African village. There won't be any shortage of childrenfolk. Clearly, I'm stupid. But, I'm still excited about the young'en. Salome's gifts include "smiling, attracting people" and she's interested in "Daddy's computer and mum's hair." (they are admittedly really structured/organized people, so they made a chart listing similar characterists about all of them. A couple after my own heart.)

Alright, back to work. I've got to prepare myself for the rapidly-approaching Illini game.

I look like a chipmunk.

I think hearing everyone else's horror stories about getting their wisdom teeth out has been the worst part of getting my own wisdom teeth out. I mean, come ON people.

More on beholding Christ...

Words that are carrying my heart right now...

"As we behold the glory of Christ in the gospel and savor his purity, we start to see sin as repugnant, and salvation as magnificent. We see people no longer, as Paul says, 'according to the flesh' (2 Cor. 5:16), but with a love that 'bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things' (1 Cor. 13:7). We despair of no one, because in spite of human depravity, 'with God all things are possible' (Matt. 19:26). And we see culture no longer merely with the eyes of seduction or despair, but with the eyes of hope. The sovereign, living Christ will someday claim this world for himself. Our spirit is wakened and enlivened by beholding the glory of Christ and his passion to make all things serve the glory of his Father."

JP, "God is the Gospel"