Noodlehead...

As I sat on the living room floor of the flat the other day, eating Ramen noodles, I had to wonder if my life would always be one somewhat resembling that of a university student.

Ramen noodles have that effect on me, I guess.

That and moving every year or two.

Anyway, I’m not sure there’s much college-student-esque about living in Lopitland and going through all we’ve gone through. I definitely remember a lot more pizza and Jimmy Johns in college, for starters. But what is strikingly familiar is this feeling of “What’s next?” It’s sort of as if I’m made to pick my major over and over again, every two years. It’s always, “Where do I go from here?” and “What do I need to do to get there?” Except now it’s not what classes look best on a law school application, it’s “Do I stay with AIM and go back to Lopitland, or do I pull up my roots and go a different direction?”

And there are so many directions.

There’s Lopitland. I’m struggling with this idea that I love my friends there, but I’m not sure I want to re-up my commitment and do another 2 to 4 years there. Does not going back make all those relationships and all that love look like a farce? Or make them meaningless? Does it make me weak, not cut out to be a missionary? I dunno. I almost feel guilty that it’s not at the top of my list. And I want to make sure I’m not discounting it just because of all the recent hardship…

Then there’s this media team. And, again, I want to give everything a fair shake. But I’m just not being used like I thought I would be. I’m so limited. Does that mean this is out?

Then there’s going back to my Campus Crusade roots. Working on a campus is exciting—raising up workers for the harvest. Maybe I haven’t had the best go of things in the past two years, but I certainly am better suited to send women than before I left. And the idea of discipling women and having half the effect on their lives as our Cru staff had on mine… That’s pretty sweet. And it certainly would be a relief for my parents, to have me stateside. They’re pushing harder this time. And I would never have to be medevaced from the U of I.

And, finally, there’s working out of Cru’s HQ with the Jesus Film travel team, which goes around the globe, recording the film in languages used by unreached or largely lightless people groups. Which, at times, seems like the perfect compromise, the perfect balance. I’m in the States part-time, but I’m overseas part-time. I’m using my administration and journalism skills, but I’m still affecting peoples’ lives directly on the trips. I’m a part of reaching the lost for the Gospel.

Now you can see why I sometimes lose my thoughts in my Ramen noodles.

Help?