Innocent?

I read once that William Carey, as he was dying, said, “I haven’t done enough.”

Now, I don’t know how many of ya’ll are familiar with ol’ Will Carey, but the guy was aMAZing. The Lord used him in ways innumerable to minister in India. He translated the Bible into more than 40 languages—most of those previously unwritten languages. And when his workshop burned down and he lost most of the work, the guy up and retranslated everything. Perhaps his “greatest” achievement was getting widow burning outlawed.

And this is the guy who says, “I haven’t done enough.”

Yikes.

I’m still plugging along in my study of the apostle Paul, and I came to a part of Acts that—coupled with the words of Carey—really challenged me.

Paul calls the elders of the Ephesian church to meet with him on his way to Jerusalem, from which he’s certain he won’t return. And he gives them a speech of sorts, saying how he came to them, and how he witnessed among them, and how they (the elders) must keep careful watch over their flock. (You should just read the whole thing: Acts 20:17-38.)

In the middle of this, Paul says, “Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all of you, for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God.”

I was forced to look at my ministry here and ask myself, have I so diligently proclaimed the Gospel that I’m innocent of the blood of my friends here? And, well… I’m more likely to echo Carey: I haven’t done enough.

I know one of the biggest emotions people are tempted to feel when they leave a certain place of ministry is guilt—there’s still so much work to be done, and they’re leaving it undone. But I can take confidence in knowing that if nothing else, we’ve worked the soil here, so perhaps someone in the future will find a fertile place for their sowing.

It’s hard, living among a group of people for two years and not seeing an outward change in them for Christ. But I’m glad I can take comfort in the sovereign hand of God—that he has and will move in the lives of the people here, when and how he wants to.